In the eye of the beholder

The fear of success can be a struggle as real as the fear of failure.

Take me, for instance. In writing, with the intent to publish, I am effectively throwing out my ideas and thoughts to not only those that know me but those who have no idea who I am.

So, what if my writing funds great success. What if my writings reach more than a few hundred people who know me and love me and are willing to humour my musings.

What if it reaches thousands and friends refer it to friends? And what if those people come to my church and meet me and listen to me. This is where the fear of success comes in:

What if people don’t like the real me? What if they think I was actually disingenuous in my writings after they see the real me? Would they want their money back? Would they write reports of how I’m not actually the person I purported to be?

My fear is that people will think I’m a poser, an imposter, and won’t like the “real” me. What if they think I’m not worth all the hullaballoo?

But do you know what God’s response is to me? Love yourself. How about you take the perspective that you are made worthy by me of the success? How can you hope to love others through your writing if you can’t live yourself.

And so I write. To not is to no one’s benefit. But to write means I believe that old saying that “God don’t make no junk.”

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